still weak

This is my daily blog-for now at least I have been ordered to blog daily. I am still in a state of shock....a 25 year old grad student has me turned into a submissive "piggie" as she calls me. In addition to money, I now have started doing some research for her-I have been turned into her research slave....I realize she is now "hypnotizing" me and I cant do anything about it..she tells me to look at photos...and faster each time, I feel a wave of weakness come over me and all my "macho" resistance drains away..she then calls me back to the IM and does what she pleases with me as I respond "yes ma'am" to a woman 20 years younger than me.. I cant stop myself!!! I cant....i feel so weak-like a male lump......and I know what is next and cant stop it-more new photos to use while we IM which will make me even weaker....she will at some point call me or tell me to call her....make me give personal info over the phone so she has it in my voice, and the part I dread....I will be ordered to repeat humiliating phrases..or worse, I fear hearing the order "now bark"...."bark".."louder!!!" as she laughs on the other end...or "now oink like a piggie"..."OINK-NOW"..."MORE"..."LOUDER"..say "I am Goddess Aleenas piggie and oink"..... i cant imagine what that will feel like as I hear my own voice do this...and then of course, who knows....being ordered to meet her live as the final step and made to say and do humiliating things to then totally wrap me up and make me her slave forever...I have no idea how to get out of this...if you have any ideas, please let me know...I used to think I was smart, strong, lots of willpower...but look at my other blogs...I am not, and closer and closer to being her slave....