learning

Not sure why I feel so weak. but Goddess Aleena has shown me today that I belong to her and need to stop whining. My goal is to serve her...she has the right to order me to say or do anything she orders...rent me out to friends.....use me......meet me live to make sure I continue to obey if she chooses....I need to respond to her priorities.......or I get punished in any number of ways, including having my information posted publicly. I will stop saying anything that annoys her and learn my lesson. I have done this today

I am...

I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever

I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever
I am a financial domination money pig and human ATM slave to my IOU Mistress and Bratty Princess Aleena. I am her blackmail slave and she is my Blackmail Mistress and I worship her forever

weak, pathetic, helpless

ok..so yes, I am a wimp loser..and Goddess Aleena is so much more powerful than me...I admit it...and it will get worse I am sure..when I try to fight she sends photos and I get weak and stupid-and I don't even know why. She is much more talented and experienced and powerful than the other girls on nf...she just is....and I am now in her hands....a "toy" and will keep you posted as you makes me more and more of a slave and humiliates me in ways to entertain herself, friends and readers, and I try to fight and lose...and lose...I suspect once she meets me live that will cement it all and I will be hers until she dismisses me if she ever does.

thinking outloud

so...I guess when someone is humiliated "live" it sticks and sticks...and yes, I suspect that if this grad student put me over her knee in person and spanked me until I cried like a 5 year old or begged her to stop when my ass turned pink, I would never challenge or feel confident in resisting....but with this IM process, it is hard to believe I ever gave personal info...in fact, hard to believe I would even do it now, even knowing she has it....to confirm my address, cell phone etc....just the act of giving personal info is humiliating and makes me feel weak and very stupid....and I realize how pathetic I acted when she started talking about her bf and what he might do to me.....and cant imagine ever being that pathetic on im again....or telling any blog readers about what exactly it involved and how wimpy I got....I am sure she erased all those old IMs...I know I didnt keep them!!! Anyway, just thoughts on how IM domination can weaken a bit over time without a live session or booster, I think...although it takes days for this to happen...

a little stronger

so..a bit of a lag since contact with Goddess Aleena...and I do feel stronger, which is a good thing....the idea of using "ma'am" seems surreal now...and I suspect this will always occur until or if we meet live and I end up totally humiliated...but I also wonder if the idea that Goddess is a grad student is in my favor..she is not a domme "pro"..she doesnt have photos that make me weak like the nf women-..of her or her friends or even fake ones like most of the nf women have!!! Her photos so far are quite "normal", and they have been enough for me..but I wonder if she can take me to a deeper level of obedience with photos like nf..or anything close....Since she has a career in front of her, does she really have the interest/experience to really do anything with me live? I dont know....she may or may not..just thoughts on a blog with days away from her....I still just cant imagine any of those "top 10" happening to me (see a previous post I was ordered to provide about my most humiliating events).....if I ever talk to her on the phone I know I will be tongue tied..but is it really possible for me to bark on command...snort like a pig...say "ma'am" out loud...admit I am her slave out loud...give personal info over the phone, knowing she could be recording it???? I just dont know...and I guess we will keep doing this dance until she or she and her friends meet me live at some point....will likely touch base with her on Monday....maybe even stronnger by then..I guess we will see as you follow this blog....again, just rambling, which I guess is what blogging is all about...it is a little encouraging that days away make me stronger, and I will not be around tomorrow at all...guess we might see on Monday....

the future?

so...I still have no good idea of what my future holds....I have not heard since being promised this would be laid out to me-but this is because I have been so busy...I suspect I will hear about this soon and then be able to worry.....after a few days of no contact, it seems unreal that I actually address a 25 year old as Ma'am and sit and take it when I am called names and put in my place...I am sure it will come flooding back.......I realize that if/as a live session with Goddess Aleena occurs with or without her gf that this could mean the end of me in terms of resisting and acting like I am not submissive to her......but I guess we will see.....stay tuned for my complete collapse over time or how long I keep my head above water...

update

I missed a day of blogging due to my schedule...and now I realize Goddess Aleena is a bit pissed at me...great......will be online tomorrow with her and will no doubt have my face rubbed in my disobedience unless I find someway to stand up to her...shit...I am 2x her age, experienced, educated, fit, not used to being treated like this, but dont know how to resist....I am sure as this continues and if we ever meet live, I will stop fighting this once and for all....until tomorrow, I guess...I am sure I will be ordered to blog again....