a little stronger

so..a bit of a lag since contact with Goddess Aleena...and I do feel stronger, which is a good thing....the idea of using "ma'am" seems surreal now...and I suspect this will always occur until or if we meet live and I end up totally humiliated...but I also wonder if the idea that Goddess is a grad student is in my favor..she is not a domme "pro"..she doesnt have photos that make me weak like the nf women-..of her or her friends or even fake ones like most of the nf women have!!! Her photos so far are quite "normal", and they have been enough for me..but I wonder if she can take me to a deeper level of obedience with photos like nf..or anything close....Since she has a career in front of her, does she really have the interest/experience to really do anything with me live? I dont know....she may or may not..just thoughts on a blog with days away from her....I still just cant imagine any of those "top 10" happening to me (see a previous post I was ordered to provide about my most humiliating events).....if I ever talk to her on the phone I know I will be tongue tied..but is it really possible for me to bark on command...snort like a pig...say "ma'am" out loud...admit I am her slave out loud...give personal info over the phone, knowing she could be recording it???? I just dont know...and I guess we will keep doing this dance until she or she and her friends meet me live at some point....will likely touch base with her on Monday....maybe even stronnger by then..I guess we will see as you follow this blog....again, just rambling, which I guess is what blogging is all about...it is a little encouraging that days away make me stronger, and I will not be around tomorrow at all...guess we might see on Monday....